Opening Your Heart To Love Again
December 29, 2022 | By Kai Jordan
One of the most painful and healing things you will experience in your life is heart break.
Heart break exposes the unconscious emotional wounding that you hold deep inside of you from the experiences you went through as a child.
Whether you were in an environment with parents who were abusive, unsafe, alcoholic, negligent, or even if your parents were loving but didn’t have the capacity to really see you, hear you, feel you and attend to your needs, this can cause deep emotional wounding that shows up in your intimate relationships as an obstacle to love.
When these deeper emotional wounds get triggered your defensive/protective mechanisms get activated and you can either shut down, closing yourself off to intimacy, or you can react with anger, pushing away your partner along with the love they want to give you.
Like a wounded animal who growls and attempts to bite anyone who comes close, these wounds have instinctual, animalistic protective/defensive mechanisms that keep others from breaching their boundaries even if the intent is to help, support, and nurture these wounds back to health.
In The Path Of Devotional Love we call these emotional wounds and protective patterns “INTIMACY BLOCKS” because they prevent you from being open to deeper love and intimacy with your partner.
They are the invisible walls you created to protect yourself from further pain, but like a safe you trap yourself in, it protects you from the possibility of someone hurting you, while also preventing the possibility of someone loving you fully.
The real work in relationships is to work through these intimacy blocks and open yourself more and more to the depths of love by going THROUGH the pain of your heart break instead of running from it.
This of course depends on your willingness to face and embrace your emotional pain when it arises through intimate relationship.
If you don’t work through your intimacy blocks you will continue to re-enact these patterns with your intimate partners and they will continue to lead to the same painful experiences repeated over and over again with different people throughout different relationships.
The landscape may appear to change, but the core problem remains the same.
If you’ve had some experience in relationships, I’m sure you can already see these repeating patterns playing out in some way, either subtle or obvious.
Let’s address why these patterns don’t change even if you’ve “done the work” or have gone through years of therapy and gotten the equivalent of a phd level understanding in your traumas and patterns.
The emotional wounds are energetic frequencies trapped in the body.
They cannot be released cognitively as they are not held at the mental level, they can only be released somatically/energetically THROUGH FEELING as they are stored at the emotional/physical level.
In order for you to heal your past heart breaks, you must go into the depths of your vulnerability BEYOND your protective patterns and process the pain fully.
No amount of understanding the events that caused the trauma, and even how these traumas play out in your relational patterns, can allow you to release these emotional wounds trapped in the body and energy field.
When we go through very painful and intense emotional experiences our mind protects us from them by dissociating our awareness from the somatic sensations experienced in the body.
It creates a distance and an avoidance from this wound until we are mature enough to process it.
If you don’t raise your level of consciousness and emotional intelligence, these traumas stay trapped inside of your nervous system and continue to stack layers and layers of mental avoidance mechanisms on top, which distract you from fully FEELING, PROCESSING, AND COMPLETING these emotional loops.
These turn into more severe issues whether that is an addiction, or a physical disease and when it gets to this point it can be very difficult to trace it back to an emotional wound or trauma.
This is why it’s so important to address these intimacy blocks as soon as you notice them because over time, if you continue to re-enact them they become so reinforced they are like a metal suit of armour you wear around your heart that keeps you closed to the possibility of being loved and being loving.
The key to releasing these patterns is ENERGETIC DE-CONDITIONING, which is a process we have discovered after 7000+ 1-1 sessions, and studying over 15 modalities of healing/coaching/spiritual processes in order to integrate the most efficient and precise release work possible.
If you’d like to experience this process for yourself, apply for a Free “De-Condition Your Relationship Blueprint” Mentoring Session with Gabriella and I through this link:
Kai & Gabriella
"Heart break exposes the unconscious emotional wounding that you hold deep inside of you from the experiences you went through as a child."